This was me not too long ago. Along with the feelings of frustration. And overwhelm. And resentment.. Trying to do everything. Control everything. Feeling guilty if I relaxed or giving up sleep or exercise to collapse in front of the tv. Trying to read articles and books to “fix” my kids defiant, disrespectful, lack of independence, listening and cooperation behaviors.Read More
Teaching our child to navigate conflict begins with how we show up as the parent to conflict. What becomes possible when conflict is not longer seen as something to avoid but simply as a difference in opinion, preference and desire and both parties can be heard and find a collaborative agreement.Read More
It’s like I had slid down a slope into a deep valley
I had a choice to try to climb back up where I came from (and believe me that I would have if my coach had let me)
or to surrender to the chaos in between
until the steps to climb out the other side were revealed.
I thought I'd reflect on the past wonderful, hot, sometimes crazy but always (except when the boys were fighting) fun months just past.
7 Things I learned this summer... 1. It's okay to let go of my good intentions to continue school work because they learn simply in the art of being kids with curiosity and creativity. They learn that no matter how fast you can run you'll never be as fast as the Flash and run across the pool.Read More
"How do I get my child to listen to me?"
It's beyond frustrating. It always seems to be the same things.
Get ready for bed. Get ready for school. Wash your hands. Clean up your mess.
Constantly reminding. Nagging. Wanting the same things but MY CHILD JUST WON"T LISTEN!Read More
I thought I could stop yelling by imagining this perfect day into existence. I thought if I planned enough. Controlled enough. That if the plan didn't happen it was because I wasn't figuring out how to plan it just right.Read More
I laugh at the assumptions I'd made at how I thought you can "control" bedtime. But I've heard the same from so many other parents where the struggle for survival (and getting any sleep) becomes greater than the carefully crafted sleep plan to get your kid to self soothe and fall asleep and stay asleep
When I became the mom he needed at bedtime. When I was able to let go of my agenda and expectations, we co-created a bedtime routine that works (most nights anyway, I mean he's still 7!)Read More
But everything had to fall apart before it could be put back together. Because don't get me wrong, this isn't permissive parenting. This isn't an anything goes and I just sit back with a glass of wine and ignore the chaos.Read More
"I'm wondering if you still love me after all the really mean things I said to you."
What he needed to know was that mommy still loved him. And once I validated that he threw himself into my arms with a power of connection that I felt into my bones.
Do you carry around a list of belief of what you have to do or what you believe is expected of you but if you stop to think about it, those beliefs are just robbing you. Of time. Of energy. Of joy.
Do you ever look back and think how a cascade of small decisions completely changed who you are today? What if everything we don’t know we want is on the other side of one small change?Read More