Episode 30: Being a Radical Mom with Christa Bevan

Christa Bevan is a Radical mom.  Yes, she's super rad, but she also has her own definition of a Radical mom which is SO important.  She's also a certified TRE (tension & trauma releasing exercises) provider & coach for Radical moms.  She's here to talk about healing generational trauma,  what it means to be a "Radical Mother" & what she calls Dynamic Self-Care.

Because our children learn from what we model, rather than just our words, we are teaching them all the time.  By who we are being, how we are showing up, even the unconscious parts of ourselves.  You may know this.  But it's much more pervasive than you may realize.  We can't be 100% aware of everything, 100% of the time.  There is always a part of us that will show up all by itself.  These are the parts of our brains that have become automated and consist of a feeling, thought, & action that have been combined for efficiency's sake. We don't have to think through driving to work, or making coffee. We just do it. Our brains also automate many other things such as emotional & behavioral patterns that often don't serve us. Our children are picking up on & learning from all of this, the same way we did from our parents. Our limiting, non-serving patterns of being are what serve to create trauma in our child without our realizing it.

Before I go much further I must say that this is impossible to avoid completely. So try not to get caught up here as I did for years thinking that I am totally messing up my kids. It is simply the way the young human mind works. The young mind will create stories that will not serve the young child. We can't stop this, but we can do the work to uncover our emotional & behavioral patterns and shift them consciously so as to not perpetuate the self-limiting patterns that we learned from our parents. They will have their own crap to work through later in life. This is about them not having to carry and work through our crap too. It's about us healing our own limiting patterns and not passing them down.

This is generational healing.

"Radical mothering is consciously breaking generational cycles of trauma. Transforming your family's lineage."

Traumas can be small and are completely subjective to the individual These little traumas need just as much attention because they are the patterns of behavior we don't want to pass down to our kids. It could be the way that I can't seem to handle the sibling fighting & screaming. I shut it down quickly because I have a hard time tolerating the conflict & level of noise. But am I actually teaching my children resolution skills? No. Because I'm triggered and just want it to stop. But this right here is an opportunity for me to dive into why I'm so triggered & untangle it so that I can access my critical thinking and support my children in problem-solving. Otherwise, they might learn to avoid conflict at all costs instead of working through the inevitable conflicts that will arise throughout their lives. Learning how to problem solve is a much more valuable skill than conflict avoidance. The former sets them up to work with life whereas the latter sets them up to resist life. The only way to do this with awareness.

A radical mother is "a woman poised in her power ready to disrupt cycles generational of trauma"

Radical mothers are the ones who say "no more" and act as fire breaks to stop the wildfire of perpetuating generational cycles. It is hard work. Being a mom is hard all on it’s own. Adding the layer of being a radical mom "is a lot of work. You're holding so many things. You're trying to resolve these things that you were handed while also giving your children better than you saw demonstrated. It's a big task."

"This idea of mothering radically is doing the work of raising yourself while raising your children and it adds this extra layer of complexity." 

Ah, validation. Our saving grace is the dynamic self-care that Christa talks about. Not only is it what supports us in the challenges of radical motherhood, but it is also just simply necessary to living our best lives, Mom or not. Christa is clear to differentiate Pinterest "self-care" and Dynamic Self-Care, which includes self-awareness, self-love & self-compassion. It's so good and so doable.

I could go on & on but I'll let you give this one a listen. Christa dives into what all this means, including the way our bodies hold onto trauma (this is huge!). I think it might strike you in just the right kind of way.

Enjoy!

Sarah Signature card.png
 
Blog pic for podcast guest.png

Christa Bevan

Christa Bevan is a dynamic self-care coach for other Radical Mothers as well as a certified TRE® (tension and trauma releasing exercises) provider and yoga instructor. Her coaching practice helps to empower mothers on a journey of healing trauma and doing deeply transformational personal development work. Coming to this work out of necessity, she’s seen the incredible impact healing trauma can have in all directions of your family tree. As a natural teacher, Christa works to educate, support, and inspire people who are ready for radical change in their lives with methods that deliver results. She believes that self-love, compassion, and grace are the core elements of healing, and all start with a foundation of self-awareness.

Irene McKennaComment